Ever sit there and wonder what your life would be like if you had made one choice instead of another?
I try not to do this too often, because lingering over What if…? isn’t going to change the now, but in the last few years, I find my thoughts going back to one point in my life. I was looking for a full-time job, since I had been doing seasonal work at Six Flags until that point, and I had found two possibilities. One was the local Goddard School and one was Dunkin’ Donuts. Getting hired at Dunkin’ Donuts was easier and I ended up working there instead of collecting the materials I would have needed to apply at the Goddard School.
I was grateful for the job at Dunkin’; I like to think that I learned something from the job, but mostly, it feels as if working there chipped away at some part of me. Because when I finally left, the voice whispering that ‘This menial job is all you’ll ever have,’ was really loud.
So every so often, my mind wanders to the kind of person I might be if I had worked at Goddard. Would I have been as beaten down as I was at Dunkin’, as frustrated at missing important family events, as tired with life?
I’ll never know and I try not to dwell on it, but I think that everyone has this moment, or several moments, where they felt that they made the easy choice instead of the better choice.
But we learn from our decisions and move forward.
So that there aren’t too many moments when I look back and wonder.