It often strikes when you aren’t paying attention. It doesn’t even really strike; more it creeps into your psyche and sinks into your essence. Soaking into every thought until it is completely absorbed into your being. And then you can’t help but revolve around it. Every thought that passes through your brain, every sentence you speak, every action you do has something to do with it.
It has become an obsession.
Every thought that passes through your brain…
It is almost as if you can’t help it. Somehow your thoughts always turn to the obsession. If it is a person that you obsess over, you wonder what would catch his attention, how you could brush against him, what could you say? If it is an object, say a pair of shoes, you wonder what outfit would match the shoes, are the shoes really worth the money? You can’t help it, but every thought involves the obsession.
Every sentence you speak…
Then you notice how you try to say your obsession somehow. With friends and family, you can’t help but gush over what he did today, how he smiled at you, and the compliment he gave. Or you drop hints about this great pair of shoes that would look great on you or go perfectly with your favorite shirt. At some point, you realize that you keep repeating the name over and over and sometimes, it scares you but you just can’t stop. Something in you drives you to keep talking and keep saying the words as the obsession takes you over.
Every action you do…
The obsession takes over when those thoughts are put into action. You find ways to catch that man’s attention, possibly by putting on a little bit of make-up, something that makes your eyes stand out. Or you start putting money aside for the shoes, anxiously counting your pennies and going to the store to try them on several times and make sure they are still there.
Sometimes you wonder if there is a wild, crazed look in your eyes. Other times you worry that others can see your obsession.
And you can’t do anything to stop it.